Thursday 31 January 2013

Is it normal for my son to have an imaginary friend?


It is now recognised that imaginary friends are often part of normal
development.  Young children with imaginary friends are often described as
sociable, imaginative children who love stories and pretend play. They enjoy 
playing with friends and at times when friends are not available, they call on
their imaginary friends for entertainment.
Children also call on their imaginary friends when they feel upset about something
that has happened or about what some one has said to them.
One report indicated that nearly half of Greek children have had imaginary friends

So firstly don't worry, your child is not only normal, he is also very creative. His burgeoning imagination fuels this wonderful fictitious creation, someone who accompanies him as he explores the world. Its one-way children learn to make distinctions between good and bad. For example, your child may blame his “friend” for any misdeeds, saying "George" made him spill the milk or pull his books off the shelves. Take his explanation at face value and help him clean up, but gently remind him of the rules of the house. Try not to make a big deal about it when he mentions his buddy. That means neither contradicting him (“Oh, come on, stop pretending!”) nor grilling him about it, nor expanding on it by pretending to meet or talk to his invisible pal. There's no reason to make him feel funny about talking to someone who doesn't exist, but if you go all out and incorporate his friend into your world, then you'll likely have his pal hanging around for a long time.
In the meantime, let him enjoy the company of his friend; he'll soon grow out of this common childhood phase.
Do update with the teacher at school, to make sure this behavior is not interfering with his schoolwork.  Your son could also be using his interactions with invisible friends to test his teacher’s reactions to behaviour that might be disapproved of, so again keep in touch with the teacher thus helping him learn to regulate his behaviour.  Keep in mind imaginary friends also enabled children to cope with new life events like moving house or going on holiday. Has something changed at home?
Above all, it just shows how imaginative children are, which is something we should be pleased about.





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